I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
