why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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