Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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