i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
