We won't sleep together?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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