dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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