Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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