I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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