Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
