I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
why is half of my head shaved?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
