i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
