My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
