it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
