I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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