In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
