got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
