It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
