What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
