end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
