If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
