i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
