dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
