How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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