Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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