the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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