I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
