4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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