on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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