my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
