hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
