WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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