i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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