so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
