Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
