when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
