thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
