He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
