I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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