lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she peed on how many people?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
