Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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