i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
