you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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