So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i think my cat just said my name.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
