Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
