Buhtt sex?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
