dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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