I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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