Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm always down for nudity.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
