I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My vagina is officially offended.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
