how can u be prego again
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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